PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to your children or wards. Furthermore, you represent and warrant that you will not allow any minor access to this site or services. This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. That's still a work in progress.You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography). My next goal is to tell my parents and family about my sexuality. Then COVID happened and online dating became too stressful, so I'm holding off on meeting prospective partners until it’s more safe. I came out to some close online friends and got into online dating for the first time. "At 30 years old, I experienced sexual attraction to a man for the first time after we’d been online friends for a month. It didn't take long to figure out that I liked men to an extent, but it took me years to flesh out the details." After a few months of experiencing very novel and intense sexual feelings, I overcame my fear of masturbation and started doing it to various kinds of straight and gay porn. I gradually developed more and more sexual tension to the point it was feeling distressed. Then my internal sexual ‘switch’ was turned on. I wasn't interested in doing anything sexual for the first 23 years of my life, including masturbation. "At around 28 years old, I had a decent grasp that I'm overwhelmingly gay, with some rare and specific attraction towards women. Think of all the awesome things that will be coming your way." - u/cloakeslayerĢ3. "While you may have 'missed' some milestones others have because you came out later, you get to experience so many more now that you are out. By the time I graduated, I had told a few of them and the reception was generally positive." - u/redfield021767 By this point, I was hiding in the closet mostly by telling my long-time friends and family that I was just too busy with academia to date, which worked well enough, I suppose. Grad school was the first time I was around people who seemed to genuinely not care or treat people different because they were gay. Undergrad was a lot of rough isolated emotions. I tried enlisting, but I couldn’t because I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease.įor college, I continued dating women with little success.
I saw no future for myself and honestly just wanted to end things but didn’t have the balls to really go through with it. High school was rough, but I dated girls, blended in with my friends, and hated myself inside. "Coupled with general emotional abuse and generic derogatory comments about LGBTQ+ issues from my family, I learned to curb, hide, or suppress most of my emotional impulses by grade school. The therapy has helped wonders, but so has being honest with everyone." - u/bantamw I feel energized and enthusiastic for the future. Very shaky, but for the first time in many years I don’t feel depressed. We dug into my past trauma and also my sexuality.Īll this is still very new to me. I was so depressed, I ended up going into the garage to try and kill myself using an exit bag. I ended up being sent away to the USA for work for a few months which gave me time to reflect. I felt myself suddenly realize something but couldn’t deal with it. At one point he hugged me and said ‘It’ll be ok.' I could feel something well up inside me, a whole load of feelings came up, and I cried.
He could see when I was taking that there was something there. We started chatting about stuff and the conversation got onto mental health. One weekend, I ended up going on a scuba diving trip with a close male friend who I’d known online for ages. Over the next few years of having kids and settling down, rather than finding normality and feeling ok, I progressively got more and more depressed. I don’t know if it was lust rather than love, but we got on well and got married. She was my first relationship and the only girl I’d ever been attracted to. "I met my wife when I was 23 on a scuba dive trip.